Men, we sometimes feel lonely in our relationships. And it’s most often not even her fault.
Do you ever notice how, in your relationships, there’s this nagging feeling that you’ve got to be something other than yourself to be loved? Like, no matter how hard you try, you’re still not hitting the mark?
That’s not just random noise in your head. That’s the ghost of the little boy inside you, still carrying the shame from way back when he figured out—or was told—he wasn’t good enough just as he was.
And now you have grown up and become a man, pouring everything into being the rock, the provider, the guy she can count on. But even when she’s right there loving you, it doesn’t land. You still feel this deep, hollow ache—like you’re alone even when you’re not.
That’s because this isn’t about her love falling short. It’s about you being cut off from your own truth, your authentic self. That wounded kid from your past? He’s still running the show, convincing you that who you are underneath it all isn’t worth a damn.
That wounded little boy, who was constantly seeking to be something other than himself to be loved, became the man in relationship who constantly feels that he must be something other than himself to be loved.
And here’s where it stings. That loneliness, that emptiness gnawing at you, is not because you’re missing her approval or because you’re by yourself. It’s because you’ve walked away from 𝙮𝙤𝙪. You left your soul based on that wounded little boy who disconnected from himself early on.
You’re so caught up in proving you’re a good man—hustling to be what you think she needs—that you’ve lost sight of what 𝙮𝙤𝙪 need. Real connection doesn’t come from twisting yourself into someone else’s ideal. It comes from standing tall and being who you actually are.
There’s a difference between the deep feeling of loneliness and just being alone in your own energy, brother.
Your relationships become mirrors, reflecting back the unhealed pain of that kid who believed he was broken. They remind you of the solitude you felt as a little boy, thinking that you must represent a different you to “be enough” because who you used to be was wrong.
No matter how hard you try to be that solid, supportive masculine man, you will never feel like you’re doing enough, leaving you feeling more lonely, empty, and reactive in your relationship as time goes on and you struggle to provide emotional safety for your woman.
Now, here’s the good news. You’ve got the strength to fix this. It starts with looking that scared, ashamed little boy in the eye—the one lugging around that old burden of not measuring up.
Tell him he’s okay. Tell him he’s enough, just as he is.
I won’t sugarcoat it, man, but this takes some serious guts. Digging into those old wounds isn’t for the faint of heart. When you start healing that kid, though, you start healing yourself.
And when you do that, you’ll show up in your relationships as the real you—not some mask you’ve been wearing. That’s when the love you’ve been chasing starts to feel like it fits.
Heal that little boy, and you’ll find the peace you’ve been looking for.
Lien : Shadow working Solitude